Is it time?
Dawn settled over the lake this morning and mom and I set to work doing our morning chores. She providing the looks only a mother could give an inept child struggling to do the impossible, and me using every fiber of my being to do what needs doing. She asked rather clearly if today was the day. I said I didn’t know, and returned the question back to her. She said she thinks so.
Her strength is gone, and she can say very little. Her pain continues to increase probably more than we even know. Her legs, knees and shoulder sockets are very painful she says. Her breaths are shallow and we had her on oxygen all night. She wanted it off this morning so we did as she asked.
Her heart continues to beat strong and with a good pulse. She can clearly whisper “I love you” in response to our constant stream of I Love You’s. We cannot say them enough, or hear them often enough. Our time is short we know, but having her here with us is somehow more comforting than we care to admit to one another. Right now our lives are centered around her needs. The world has stood still for us, with no TV or outside communication besides an occasional phone call to find out about mom’s condition.
Bill and I tiptoe around the house for fear of disturbing her or somehow being disrespectful. We begin to chatter about nonsense and quickly catch ourselves and quiet. It seems rude or cold-hearted to have conversation, or be entertained by TV when the person you love is slowly dying. We are quiet so as not to disturb her spirit. We keep constant vigil by her side. We never want to leave her alone.
It’s sad and oppressive, this death watch. Slowly, slowly she’s leaving us in a most excruciating, debilitating way and all we can really do is watch. Is it time? I pray that it soon is so that this once lively, mighty, fighting spirit can be set free on angel’s wings.
Go home, momma, go home. It’s time.
October 16th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I love Sherry so much….she’s such a special person and so full of life. I lost my husband to lung cancer 10 years ago and I still miss him everyday….my prayers are that God will take Sherry as soon as possible…be brave, Shelly and Bill…..Karen Strickland
October 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Shelly, give your mom a hug from Utah!
She is one hella nice gal.
Denn and I offer our condolences to both you and Bill. Such is not something easy to deal with.
I glad that I had the opportunity to share a bit of life with her, she has made my own better for it.
Celebrate her life, she has had a good one.
October 21st, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Shelly - I’ve gotten to know you and your Mom through this loving website. Thank you for doing this for those of us who are far away but close in spirit. I pray my daughter would give me such a loving tribute. I wish I could have gotten to know my brother’s wife over the years but I was so happy for the love they had and their relationship with each other and the Lord was the most important. I’m thankful that we will have eternity together. I look forward to meeting you at your Mom’s Memorial Service on Sunday. So many comforting scripures have jumped off the Bible’s pages this week - “I will comfort those who mourn bringing words of praise to their lips. May they have abundant peace says the Lord.” God Bless you and your siblings. and my dear brother. Sincerely, Caorl Ruslink Glasier
October 24th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Shelly, you have truly honored your Mom. Thank you. I am thankful for many things, but I am most thankful for my family, and am so happy to have a loving cousin who loved me so much for all of my 57 years. Over the past year Sherry and I have stayed close through calls and e-mails. She kept telling me I was her inspiration in getting through this ordeal. She truly was mine as well. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 4 years ago, and have been going through treatment for 4 years. When Sherry was diagnosed she immediately contacted me. I hope our talks gave her as much comfort as they did me. Bill, I am so glad you came into our family and loved Sherry, and led her to one of the hobbies and work, she so enjoyed — fishing. Jesus carries her in his arms now. She is so lucky to be with my Mom, Grandmother, her Mom (my Aunt Ruth, Daddy’s sister) and her Daddy and all of the rest of her extended family. The cancer did not win, she is comforting us at this very moment. I love you all, and you remain in my prayers. Thank you Shelly, for being here for Shana.
October 24th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Shelia, your talks with mom meant the world to her. She mentioned frequently that you were probably the only person she could be herself with, and able to talk about cancer candidly. She appreciated your comfort and support and loved you so much. Tell Shana I love her, and that if and when you or she needs me, I’m a good servant. I can work and do and support without getting under foot. She may need me. She may need muscle. She may just need a shoulder. I can be any of those things.
I do hope you can make it, but if you can’t please know how much you are loved by us all. I plan to come out to see you when this ‘publicness’ is over.